megsandroses:
i love you. fuck, it’s so easy to think about love but it’s so damn hard saying it out loud. why am i so scared of admitting that i do love you? why can’t i say it out loud? why can’t i climb the highest mountain and scream it to the world? why do those three words must mean so much and be too heavy to say it out loud? i have too many questions and worries and doubts and i’m so sorry that i’m not braver to tell you this.
when you walk by me and smile, i melt and think “i love you”. sometimes i even whisper those words and i beg you silently to hear them. i wish you could just turn around and ask “what did you just say? can you repeat it?” and if you encouraged me like this maybe i would have said it louder.
but you never hear me. you don’t even notice me speaking. you’re always in a hurry and you don’t see my mouth moving, my lips forming into “i love you”. you see me but you never really notice me and it hurts. it hurts to love someone who doesn’t pay attention. i wish we could be different, you know? i wish you cared more and i cared less. i could give you some of this care, so we had equal care. maybe then you would hear my words.
it hurts, loving you hurts. so fucking much. i can’t even begin to describe how i feel about you, what you do to me, to my mind, to my body. i can’t think of those strong emotions i’m feeling when you’re around. my heart beats so fast, i feel dizzy. you make me feel hot and blurry. you make me forget everything and it hurts because i wanna remember everything, every detail.
i don’t wanna lose hope, though. i love you and one day i’ll say it out loud, whether you’ll like it or not. you’re gonna find out and you’re gonna accept the fact that i can’t live without you and that you’re my whole life. i may have to wait months or years even but i’m not gonna lose hope. i’m not going anywhere. i’ll stay here as long as i love you.
i promise you that one day you’re going to hear me. you’re going to notice me. and you’ll learn to love me. again.
because we don’t have a choice. we’re meant to be together, you’ve said it before. so i’m gonna keep on waiting and i’ll keep on loving you until you hear me again.
d.