megsandroses:

“fuck”, i whisper as i breathe out the smoke of the hundreth cigarette 

i hate smoking and i know it’s killing me but it feels right to smoke when you feel miserable

just like i do right now, it makes me look sexy, i tell myself

and i die, piece by piece, i bleed out as i’m thinking of you

i’m going crazy missing you so fucking much, i can’t process the fact that you’re so damn far away 

sometimes i just want to demand your presence and make you stay right here

so i don’t have to smoke and drink myself stupid and act like an idiot

i want to stop being sad and miserable and you’re the only cure for that 

you’re the only reason

how are you living with that responsibility? 

i think too much of death when i think of you 

see – that’s the responsibility. you should come home so i don’t think of death

i know i’m just going crazy 

but only you can save me 

love rhymes with your name and i wanna whisper it every night 

but you have to cross the ocean for that, you have to come home

so i stop going crazy 

so i stop thinking of killing myself

so i stop smoking

oh, i think i’m going crazy 

and i die…