this is serious.

duchov:

gillovny thing.

she can’t stop smiling. she’s watching david play the guitar and hum some words she cannot understand. he does that very often when he doesn’t want her to hear the whole song yet. she tells him it’s silly but still she doesn’t know what the words of this new song are.

“is it “all of you” or “i love you”?” she asks, looking at him. he crosses out the words from a little piece of paper and swears under his nose. “david, language!”

“coming from you…” he murmurs. she laughs. he’s been grumpy all day. “it just doesn’t make the fucking sense.”

“maybe i’ll help you? she offers, standing up from his sofa.

she comes closer, takes his guitar, puts it gently on the floor and stradles his lap. she starts kissing him. first his ears, then forehead, eyelids, nose, cheeks, chin and then mouth. the kiss becomes more passionate and he moans in her mouth. she smiles.

“this is how you want to help?” he asks, laughing. she shrugs.

“isn’t it inspiring?” she gives him another kiss and puts her arms around his neck. “i have to come back to london next week.”

“shh…”

“david…”

“don’t.” david shakes his head. he’s looking directly into her deep blue eyes and he’s trying to tell her something, she knows he is and she’s trying really hard to find out what it is. “don’t talk about it. let’s not think until you really have to leave.”

“i’m not leaving.” she corrects him. “i’m just going home.”

“same thing” this time david shrugs and she frowns. “i know it’s unfair but i hate it so much when you have to go. i know i can’t make you stay because there’s your home and your kids but sometimes i wish you were all mine and i didn’t have to share you with anyone.”

“just sometimes?” she jokes and gently touches his cheeks. he closes his eyes at the feel of her touch. “i know it’s fucking hard, david. i wish we could be together all the time, too. but there’s nothing we can do.”

“what if there is?” david asks. 

she looks at him, not understanding what he means. he makes her stand up, he does too and goes to his bedroom. she should start calling this room their bedroom already, she spends so much time there. she calls his apartment her home, too. whenever she stays here, she feels like home because this is him. this is david who she stays with. he goes to flowerist before she comes, he buys her fresh flowers, lights the lavender candles, puts the fresh towels, wakes up in the morning, prepars breakfast and then meditates with her before they have to face the new day. this is david – this is home. 

why doesn’t she still understand it, though?

he comes back after a few minutes and suddenly she realizes that he changed. he’s wearing a white shirt and black slim tie. he’s so handsome, she thinks. and she loves those skinny dark jeans. 

he’s smiling when he comes closer and she can’t help it so she smiles, as well.

“what’s happening?” she asks and starts playing with his tie. “you look sexy.”

“i hope i look convincing, too” david jokes and takes her hands in his and sighs deeply. he’s nervous. she places her palm on his chest and feels his heart beating so fast. for sure, he’s alive. “gill, what if there is something we can do?”

“what do you mean?” she still doesn’t know.

“gillian leigh anderson…” he sighs again and drops on one knee. gillian opens her eyes even wider and feels like her own heart stopped. “you know i love you. i won’t be exaggerating when i say that i’ve always loved you. i can’t even remember the times when i wasn’t in love with you. i know we’ve been to hell and back, we had our ups and downs, we still struggle with so many things and sometimes it feels like the whole world is against us but i’m sure we’re gonna get through that because this is it for me, gillian. i’m not going anywhere anymore. i’m not running away, i’m not going to fuck it up anymore because there is too much to lose. i love you too damn much to risk it again. and i can’t let you go alone. i know you can’t stay here but what if i go with you?”

at first she thinks she’s dreaming. then she’s sure it’s a joke. maybe he’s rehearsing for some kind of audition. 

she starts laughing. 

“what the fuck are you doing duchovny?” she asks and sits at his sofa. he frowns and looks down. he’s hurt. “you’re proposing to me?”

“i guess…”

“you guess?” she laughs even louder. “baby, i love you but do you honestly think this is what we should do? marriage isn’t my thing, you know. and we’re too old for that shit.”

“stop laughing.” david says. she stops. “this is serious. i’m not proposing to you because i don’t see the other way for us. i’m proposing because i love the shit out of you and i know that your multiple husbands weren’t the ones. i am the one. i promise you eternity. i promise you my whole life. this is your choice gillian but if i were you, i would take it because we both know we’re stuck together for good. you’re not going to step back and neither am i. so you can say no but you know you’re going to regret this because you love me and deep down you know you want all of this.”

“if i say yes, you’re gonna move to london?” she asks, barely whispering. he nods. 

“my kids are older, they’ll understand. i’d still visit them every other week, just like i do now. i just need to know if you’re really at the same page with me… because this is serious.”

“i’m not laughing anymore.” gillian whispers and kneels in front of him. she smiles and kisses him on mouth. “this is serious and i’m saying yes to all of this. but most of all, i’m saying yes to you because i can’t fucking live without you. i can’t function. you have to be by my side so i can feel alive.”

“i’ll be there, i promise.”

gillian nods and that is a definite yes for her. she couldn’t feel happier. she’s going to marry david. after twenty five years of knowing him. after twenty five years of loving him.

“yes.” she whispers. “now give me the ring.”

and she’s never seen more beautiful ring in the world. and of course it fits her perfectly, just the way he fits in her life.

this is such a cliche.